Today Bill and I attended a funeral for the son of our dear friends Sharon and Ted. Cooper was killed last week while he was with his mom at the neighborhood bus stop. A teenager that was driving hit Cooper with his car. The bumper hit Cooper's bike and he got pulled underneath the car. Sharon was able to pull him out from under the car, Cooper was screaming. Minutes later he started to go into shock, when the ambulance arrived they worked on Cooper and then he was flown by life flight to PCMC. While he was being taken to PCMC his heart stopped, life flight was able to get it started again. He was taken immediately to surgery, the internal damage was too serve to save him. They were met by a social worker at the door to tell them he didn't make it.
This experience that happened to our friends has brought back many memories to my mind of Rylee's death. It is interesting how I have been able to compartmentalize my feelings of Rylee's life and death. When I know someone who may have a similar experience it brings all the emotions up to the surface. This experience for me has helped release a lot of suppressed emotions. The funeral was absolutely beautiful. It sounds so crazy to think that through a tragedy so great, that a beautiful spiritual experience can happen. As Ted talked he told of the spirit that has been with them so abundantly these past few days. He told of a blessing he gave Cooper after the accident, he felt angels there with Cooper, he also felt that Cooper would not survive this tragedy. As he talked of the anguish that they felt and the questions related to where Cooper was and what will happen to his spirit, I remember having those same feelings. The spirit has strengthened them and has brought to them peace and comfort. If I had not experienced a death of a child myself I don't know that I would really understand how that could be possible. I remember feeling the comforter so intensely when Rylee died and for several weeks after her death. I also felt her spirit, which was so comforting and peaceful to know that her spirit could be with me even though her body couldn't. There are no words to truly express the heartache and sorrow a parent feels when losing a child. I realized that my ability to feel empathy has grown through losing a child. I wouldn't have chosen to have Rylee be disabled or die for that matter, but I am so grateful that I have been to the depths of despair and anguish, because it was only then that I could understand the love of Christ and the Atonement. I was so strengthened by the words that Ted spoke and the love that he showed for his family, Cooper and towards the teenager that killed their son.
Ted told of how when they meet with this boy and they were so nervous because they didn't know what or how to feel. When the boy came into the room where they were they went to him and embraced him. They were able to feel peace and love for this boy who had taken the life of their son accidentally. Sharon said that at that moment that she hugged the boy, she was able to feel peace and feel Cooper's spirit. I can't imagine how they must feel knowing that this tragedy was all an accident. I can't imagine the hurt or pain they would feel comforting the boy who killed their son. They of anyone had the right to feel wronged and to harbor ill will toward someone for taking the most prized possession they had, their child. However, they were not offended, they were able to show unconditional love. It made me think of silly little things that happen in neighborhoods, families, work, any kind of life experience where one would be offended by someone else. I dare say that in most cases the offense would not be a great as an accident taking your child's life. Yet, Ted and Sharon were able to not only forgive but show unconditional love. This is a true example of a follower of Christ. I left the funeral wanting to be a better person. It was so nice to remember the love of God and the comforter and peace I felt at the time of Rylee's death. I don't want to forget those feelings, because they were real and they helped us make it through a very difficult time in our lives.
Thank you Ted and Sharon for your examples and giving such a beautiful tribute to your special little boy, Cooper. We love you guys!
10 comments:
That was absolutely wonderful. Thank you for that beautiful testimony, and thank heaven for that little boy and his parents.
wow. speechless. a good reminder to me of what's important.
What a staggering loss for Sharon & Ted and their other kids. My heart goes out to them.
Not entirely surprising, their reaction to this all, they are tremendous people and have taught many in our Stake as well as where they are now.
Thanks for sharing your feelings Ally. So sincere & heartfelt.
Ted was my boss for about 2 years at the first job I ever had here in Utah. He taught me so much by his example - everyone loves him. He and his family are amazing people.
An example...I had no money and Shaunell and I were about to get engaged. I couldn't purchase Shaunell's ring and it was tearing me apart. Ted could tell it I was really stressed about something, so we went to lunch. He drove that day and I asked if we could go by the jewelry store to look at the ring. As we walked in, he asked me if I was going to buy it that day. I told him I couldn't - I had NO money. Without even thinking, he paid for it and told to me to pay him back when I could. I refused profusely, but he said it "was something i need to do". Total charity and would give anything for anyone.
He taught me so many lessons like that - I grieve with him, Sharon and the boys.
BTW, two more payments to him and that ring is mine!!!! :)
What a beautiful example of Christ's love. Thank you for sharing your feelings. Amazing that something so beautiful could come out of such a tragedy.
Thanks Allyson, your words and insights really uplifted me.
Allyson, thanks for sharing that with us. It has really left a deep impression.
Wow, that story breaks my heart. I feel so awful for them. I am amazed that they are so good. I am not that good of a person at all! I hope I can be as amazing as your friends some day.
This reminds me of our last converstaion about Heavenly Father's will and Our Faith. It sounds like this family has a great understanding of both. How is the new calling going? I can't wait to see you and your cute family next weekend!
I love blogs! It is fun to read about the fun things going on in other peoples lives and sharing what our kids are doing, it helps to see that "we are all in this together" - but being able to read your thoughts and feelings about spiritual things has been my favorite most of all - I was so touched and have been thinking a lot about forgiveness and like you said we lose sight so quickly of the things that are really important when we let "little" unimportant things change our relationships with friends, family and neighbors - Thank you for sharing. When you talked about those who lose a child - it made me think about finding a testimony my Grandmother had written. They lost their second child to death at 18 months old and years and years later when she wrote out her testimony I could feel the love she had for this son whom she KNEW she would be with again someday. I bet that was an awesome reunion on the other side when it was her turn to return to the other side! THANK YOU FOR SHARING your thoughts and experiences!
Post a Comment